Football in Gramophone Mag?
Sat, May 11 2013, 12:55AM
Dear Sir,
I was settling down to my evening pink gin and crossword today when my wife let out what I can only describe as the sound of a stuck pig.
“Farringdon-Pincetripe,’ she said (we have always been close), “we’re scuppered.”
“What is it Philippa, my dear?” I asked. She was at the computer, serfing I think they call it.
She came straight to the point. A salty gal, P.F.P.. “Get your carcass over here, man!”
She had on the screen an article by your lad Mellor, casual sort of fellow that, judging by his picture, bit of mixed blood in there too I wouldn’t doubt. He’s been comparing Sir Simon Rattle to a cove named Ferguson, scotchman I’m told, using football analogies of all things.
Gentlemen, footballing analogies in the Gramophone! Surely not, even in this dark day and age.
I’m aware they have appeared from time to time on what you call the forum, which does not surprise me. Odd sorts of johnnies on there, ex-convicts, agents and remittance men by the sounds of them. But from the pen of one of your employees in your mainstream magazine?
If you must make sporting comparisons surely there are more appropriate sources than football. Whilst understanding that one or two of your readers might not understand references to polo, hunting or croquet, I think you will find that cricket is full of examples. Could not the pending resignation of Sir Simon be likened to the final hour of a day’s play at Lords, Cowdrey and Bailey at the crease, 300 to avoid the follow-on, the light fading, Miller bowling, England under threat as in 1940? Come, come, Gramophone, shame Mr. Mellor. Where is your sense of tradition?
Yours faithfully,
J.R.Q. Farringdon-Pincetripe, Major-General, rtd.
The Twinings,
Curmudgely-Under-Stoked
Sussex
Sat, May 11 2013, 9:06AM
#2
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Shostakovich was a qualified football referee. If it was good enough for shosty than it is good enough for the Gramophone. However comparisons with Alex Ferguson may well be refering to the attitude, intelligence and humour of a five year old or the inability to tell the time or having a drink problem. Alma Mahler is a trusted source of the events compared to Alex Ferguson.
Sat, May 11 2013, 9:39AM
#3
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
The beautiful game is not a bad metaphor for the pitch we occupy here.
We have the odd player who transgresses the thin line between a fair tackle and a foul, but a wise free kick usually restores the balance of the game, sometimes met with ill-grace from the offender, of course. Yellow cards are discreetly shown (we assume) and the referee is sparing with his red card. The ref's assistants could be a little more aware of the transgressor sneaking back onto the pitch in disguise, however. Commentary on the games could do with the objectivity of Match of the Day pundits sometimes, but on balance, the best teams win and the game is enjoyed to the benefit of all. And the season ticket is free.
Vic.
Sat, May 11 2013, 11:32AM
#4
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Dear Major General,
Thankyou for your splendid letter to the editor regarding the analogy with soccer on the website. I would have preferred the writer to have use the sport of rugger myself. There's often been a scrimmage and a good old ruck on this forum as I recall, and as you speak of tradition, whatever happened to the old school curriculum of Latin, Greek, cold showers, thrashings and rugby? It certainly built the character. And thinking of school reminds me of Evelyn Waugh's famous dictum that we class schools according to four types; leading school, first rate school, good school and school. 'Frankly, school is pretty bad'. One could if one were so inclined apply the same categories to posters - leading posters, first-rate posters, good posters and posters.
Great stuff T and Vic - good to see the article talking in a language I can understand! And good that we've all been sensible enough to keep our references to soccer down to a minimum, otherwise there'd be arguing on matters non-musical.
I'll catch up with you both at the Gramophone Forum Awards Evening, which is coming up soon...
Sat, May 11 2013, 11:40AM
#5
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Rugby is for girls.
Sat, May 11 2013, 12:39PM
#6
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Shostakovich was a qualified football referee. If it was good enough for shosty than it is good enough for the Gramophone. However comparisons with Alex Ferguson may well be refering to the attitude, intelligence and humour of a five year old or the inability to tell the time or having a drink problem. Alma Mahler is a trusted source of the events compared to Alex Ferguson.
Sid - must be a relief thinking you've got a chance next season ;-) As for the other stuff I have known a few boys that played for the various premier league clubs around my home town and the way man utd and in particular Fergie treated both the boys and their parents was different class. That said, my hero will always be Denis Bergkamp.
Sat, May 11 2013, 12:39PM
#7
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Shostakovich was a qualified football referee. If it was good enough for shosty than it is good enough for the Gramophone. However comparisons with Alex Ferguson may well be refering to the attitude, intelligence and humour of a five year old or the inability to tell the time or having a drink problem. Alma Mahler is a trusted source of the events compared to Alex Ferguson.
Sid - must be a relief thinking you've got a chance next season ;-) As for the other stuff I have known a few boys that played for the various premier league clubs around my home town and the way man utd and in particular Fergie treated both the boys and their parents was different class. That said, my hero will always be Denis Bergkamp.
Sat, May 11 2013, 2:57PM
#8
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
There was some chap called Edward something who wrote symphonies and other stuff in between going to football matches at Wolverhampton of all places.
P
Sun, May 12 2013, 1:59AM
#9
RE: Football in Gramophone Mag?
Sid - must be a relief thinking you've got a chance next season ;-) As for the other stuff I have known a few boys that played for the various premier league clubs around my home town and the way man utd and in particular Fergie treated both the boys and their parents was different class. That said, my hero will always be Denis Bergkamp.
Holland v Argentina. World cup quarter final ( the real world cup, not British colonial rugby) 1998. Greatest goal ever. Chelsea will win the premier league next season.
Wonderful, T! I'm sure it's not so very long ago that G's postbag was stuffed with such sentiments - for real.
If your satirical pen-hand is itching you're certainly not short of material here to rival J.R.Q. Farringdon-Pincetripe, Major-General, rtd. are you? Not that I'm suggesting for a moment... But if I had such a talent for it ...
Vic.